IC XC

I really don't know what to say. Tonight's Wednesay service at City on a Hill was\ a unique experience. Donovan led worship in a three or four song set. It included two hymns which I was really blessed by. (another reminder that music is often conducive to emotional engagement and that content is conducive to mental engagement and that at some point, maybe quite often the same point, both are appropriate in the act of worship). Dave however, did not preach tonight. He is apparantly at some conference in Chicago where the ambient temperature is 0 degrees F. The pastor who stood in his place (a average build man with greying hair and a gentle face) continued the wednesday night study of Romans 1. Tonight's subject: the wrath of God.

He spent a good deal of time on the phrase, "so that they will be without excuse". He gave the ever too familiar scenario in which a man is stranded on a desert island with no Special (Scriptural) or High (Christological) revelation to illumine him. This deserted man, taught the pastor, "will be without excuse" on the day of judgment for not acknowledging the existence of God, because he is "by nature" a child of wrath. (Please be aware that I'm not crtiquing his message only summarizing). He spent a good deal of the rest of the time talking about how Atheism is Biblically synonymous being a fool in the context of science. At the end of the sermon he invited the congregation (perhaps number 75) to a type of "open mic" forum. He specifically asked us what emotions or reactions that his message and the scripture found therein elicited in us concerning God, Science, and The Lost. A couple of people made comments about God's love in contrast to his wrath. Some even made comments about their personal views concerning Darwinian Evolution saying that, "Darwin himself denied Evolution's truth".

One member of the audience though did something different. When he was handed the mic, he made a challenge to the pastor. It was clear that many were pondering the question he asked, but were kept silent, I imagine, by the awkwardness that is often a result of "making waves". This gentlemen asked the pastor how he justified (morally) that a just and loving God could send a person to hell who was isolated on an island with no knowledge of Christ, Scripture or, The Church.

I wondered immediately after the pastor announced the open mic how he would handle a potential "rock" in the boat. It's just an inevitable outcome of handing people microphones. The pastor simply replied "Is there another way to interpret this verse?" and thus the debate began. Many other members of the congregation received the mic in order answer the young man's question. it was clear that to him their answers were intellectually unsatisfying.

Shawn and I were passing a note back and forth periodically throughout the sermon making quick comments to one another about the point that the pastor was making. I passed it back to him one final time with the message, "Going down hill fast?" before he motioned to me that to get up and head toward the foyer. The debate had turned from interesting and necessary questions about our soteriology as believers to a sort of . . . ("pissing contest" is too strong a phrase), antagonistic exchange.

Shawn and I began talking immediately afterwards about what had just happened and what was still happening. I told Shawn that I thought that maybe the pastor took too much time explicating dogmas that aren't really dogmas of our faith when he meant to spend more time on other topics. (It was very clear to me, and I mentioned it to Shawn that it was obvious that the pastor truly desires intimacy with Christ which is foremost above all else). Shawn agreed and said that there were a number of great things that were in the passages that the pastor used, but that he got a little side tracked talking about the existence of God and the final judgment.

Shawn and I both exchanged our personal views about the "Deserted Man" scenario and came to an agreement that at the end of the day there is one (not to the exclusion of others) for sure way to ensure eternal life: through the regeneration of the spirit (we may not know exactly what that means but we know that that's the way to do it). Shawn said in a mock informal debate kind of way, "That if you're going to pigeon-hole me about it, then the most I can give is to say [about the deserted man's salvation] is that I don't know, but I hope he goes to heaven."

So as I sit here past mid-night pondering the events, I'm brought to a place in my soul where I recognize again that argumentation hardly ever brings people to the cross, but being on my knees before the Father for my own misunderstandings and for salvation of others can. I know Christ so superficially that the only way that I can make a real difference is not by memorizing the a priori metaphysical/ethical arguments, but by scraping to find the faith to prostrate myself before Him.

New but related subject

Ever since i "restored" my computer, I got all the music that I deleted back. (Recap: I deleted all of the secular music in my iTunes last November. I felt like God was asking me to do that so I did, but not in some sort of categorical imperative, all Christians should do this sort of way. Only in the "I believe Christ asked me to do that" sort of way.). So all 7 gigs of my music is back. I didn't feel God telling me to get rid of it again so I kept it on there. I thought that I would want to listen to it more than I do. To my shock and awe, while I'm making the cold and arduous walk to class, I find that i actually want to listen to worship music! This is rather surprising to me because I HATE most worship music. I just don't like it for x, y, and z aesthetic reasons. But even in the midst of my general distaste for it, I can feel healing going on in my soul when I listen to it. I can feel the Holy Spirit doing a work in me. So while I've thrown on some Beatles, or some Elton John while I'm with friends, I found that in my "alone time" I prefer the worship stuff. What I have received from the homecoming of my secular music is a way to fellowship with some people at the BSU. Good conversation starters, "who is this? I love this song!" or "you like that song too!".