IC XC

Poll #1217319
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In a modern chanteuse mood...

To me, this is a no-brainer... but you people love your gingers... Sonically, they're pretty much the same damn person.

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And here's a track everyone has probably heard too much of (thanks Kanye...) and another that people on this side of the pond haven't touched, but went to #1 overseas... So yeah... You can't touch that beat on 'American Boy'... DAMN. Plus, she knocks M.I.A., whom I really just don't dig, so I'll give her points on that one. Also, she lyrically find room to dig 'Five Percenters' which is badass, as well as 'liking' what's underneath his baggy jeans. classy. I hate to admit that Will.I.Am is onto something here... but he used to be good, so I guess he's still got it in him.



And whoever did the cover art for '19' by Adele is a GENIUS. Also, I like thinking that song is called 'Chasing PAYMENTS', and that she's a hard working woman.

I got to pull my first all-nighter in a planetarium last night. At 6 AM we called it a night, and I think we were actually finished with our work.

Domefest is tonight, and now we have a whole slew of content that just came in today to load. 16 hours and I'll be finished with the hard stuff.

We did have a nice cruise on Lake Michigan last night, with an open bar and fireworks. The city lights, the lake wind, combined with the thunder in the north and the gently rolling clouds made a wonderful evening.

So I talked to my friend who supposedly got "arrested" yesterday...that was interesting...

We talked through text messaging which probably wasn't the best, but I guess I feel more confident with texting since I can usually think more about what I am going to say before sending the text...lame, i know...lol

Anyways, the conversation started with me asking him again if he got arrested. He said yes, in hand cuffs and everything. I then asked why he told me. I was actually very surprised when he first told me (last Monday night, the 23rd or something); I didn't really expect him to ever initiate anything, especially him telling me more about him and his family problems...His response was that he thought we were good friends and he just needed to talk to someone. Then he asked if he had done something wrong...

Of course, I was thinking "Wow, he said we were good friends....that's cool...blah, blah, blah." We are good friends, but once again I was kind of surprised to hear him say it (and then I guess I got sorta sentimental...lol). My reply was that no, he didn't do anything wrong and that I am always here for him if he needs it. Then I told him I understand him not telling me about his court date (if he really had one) <---which I actually wrote...See, I was still skeptical...

He responded with something along the lines of "If I really have one? lol I don't have one yet because I have to wait until charges have been pressed." So now I am thinking that his dad gets to press charges and not him? what the heck?! So I asked him about that and he told me that he could press charges, but he didn't have the money or the desire...or time...I can't remember...Anyways, this kind of answers my question on why he wasn't on the arrest records, however, I am still unsure if he was telling the whole truth or not...once again, text messaging probably isn't the best to distinguish that...

We talked for a little while longer, mostly just about his work. I ended the conversation with apologizing for the interrogation and that he could interrogate me sometime...lol He said it was all good and that I could ask any question I wanted; he had nothing to hide. Yeah right...I have to say that he probably one of the most secretive people I have ever met...

I often feel like I'm not very good at anything.  I know I can do a lot of things, but sometimes I feel like I'm mediocre at a lot of things, rather than really good at a few things.  I'm no piano prodigy, I've never had a lead role, I'm an okay dancer/singer . . . I won't lie, I know part of this feeling (or most of it) stems from my habit of comparing myself to others.  I see other girls my age who seem to be doing so much with their lives and it makes me wonder what I'm doing.  I know it's three o'clock in the morning and everything seems worse when it's dark outside, but still.  I just have no idea what I'm trying to do with my life. 
I'm sorry if I sound so whiny, I just need to vent a little.

Today turned out to be basically a vacation day. Nicole and I flew out of ABQ and listened to John Hodgeman expound on 55 literary story types in hilarious ways. Arriving in Chicago, we got settled in our hotel, then walked over to the "Taste of Chicago" food festival and ate a ton of different types of foods. Our hotel is about 5 minutes walk from Millennium Park, and another 5 minutes from the planetarium where domefest will be screened.

The only bad thing about today was my Kindle locked up right as we took off. It seems that a paper clip is a necessary accessory for that thing, since it has locked up twice and the reset button requires a paper clip to activate. Why can't they simply put in a key reset like the iPod?

Oh, the other bad thing is that today was expensive, but oh well.

housematehorror
Horror stories from the world of shared living spaces. EEK!

My film festival is in the can. Or, to be specific, it is in my suitcase. On 8 hard drives. Each costing more than $1100. So I have almost $12,000 of equipment in my carry on bags.

I already realized I forgot one file, but it's just some notes on the show order, so I'm going to just say screw it and go from memory instead of going back to work again. Besides, the damn door wouldn't register the alarm, so I don't want to mess with that again.

I'm looking forward to being in Chicago for the next few days. Tomorrow should be pretty chill, and Wed. should also be easy. Thursday will be the big day, but I'm confident our stuff is ready to go.

Oh, if anyone wants to see what the hell I'm talking about, check out www dot domefest dot org

Whew. I think I've worked almost 100 hours in the past week, between the national guard stuff and the film festival stuff. The final show only has two mistakes that I noticed, two bad frames in the end credits, but they're not in anyone's names, and I just don't have time to re-do them again.

I think I'm on the last 'level' of GTAIV. i'm going to save and play it twice, both for love and for money. My instinct is just to go for the cash... but we'll see.

Ok, so I am sitting myself down and writing a blog. I have no choice. It is life or death. Actually, not really, but I might as well make it that way or my account will be a waste....

Summer has definitely flown by and part of me wishes it would just go faster. I am ready to go to college. I am ready to meet new people, get out of the house, learn new things, see new places...I am ready for change. I think I am just bored with the monotony of a typical summer day and while I am sure I will get restless while in college, I will at least have the freedom to be crazy. For instance, if I just wanted to walk somewhere at 12 midnight, I could. Or if I wanted to waste all my money on stupid coffee or music, I could. I wouldn't have my parents giving me their opinion. I wouldn't have my sister hovering over my shoulder as I go on the computer. Ah, I just need more independence...lol

Ok, backtracking a bit. Ecuador (which I went to at the end of May to mid-June) was amazing. Sure, some of the people got on my nerves (it was bound to happen...haha), but all in all it was a great mission trip. While we there, we added on to two churches and put on VBS (Vacation Bible School) for the children. It was hard work (I realized how much I hate wheelbarrows...lol), but everyone could tell that the people of Ecuador truly appreciated our help. Also, for some reason, mission trips seem to always break me down. I always tend to question my faith, wondering if I am really as strong as try to make myself out to be. It is a little degrading...but I guess it is good.

Fast forward to now. Recently, one of my friends told me that he and his father got arrested for assault (on each other...they don't exactly get along). Of course this surprised me, but pretty much I had dealt with this sort of stuff all through the school year with him. Anyways, yesterday I decided to check online at the arrest records for this month (I was bored, alright...). I didn't find his name or his father's which leads me to believe that he didn't get arrested. Well, now I am debating on mentioning it to him or not because I don't really think it would go as I would like. I think he would just get upset for me accusing of him lying (even if he did lie). I guess to get to the point: It would just backfire on me. But who the heck lies about getting arrested? I actually have a couple of theories:

1) He likes to know that I still care. Pretty much through the whole school year, I was always there for him and helped him out. His family was rarely there and I think he really did enjoy (not exactly the word I am looking for, but oh well...) having someone always there.

2) Something else did actually happen to him, but he is covering it up with this story. I don't know exactly what though....

3) He is a pathological liar. I am really hoping this isn't the case...lol That would certainly suck...

So, yeah...life is just dandy. Actually, it really is. No, really...ok, maybe not dandy, but definitely okay.

I'm getting a little overwhelmed with everything.  I feel like I have a lot to think about before August 18th.  Reading, note-taking, writing-exercising, meal plans, scholarships, budgets, book-buying.  I'm procrastinating a lot.  Honestly, I'm freaking out a little about moving away and plunging myself into a new environment away from my family and my comfort zone.  I'm anxious about lots of things;  papers, work load, music auditions (if I have the time and talent to prepare, that is), mid-rags, and the ever-present little voice in my head that keeps asking, is this the right thing?  Am I making good decisions here?  I'm still a little half-hearted about everything, but at least I'm not paralyzed anymore.  I know that there's no way of answering these questions until I get there and experience it for myself.  Anyway, I've got phone calls to make and emails to write and books to buy and read and analyze.

dwseason4
A journal where the alternative fourth season of the TV show Doctor Who is being written.

lol_comics
Keep youself smiling at the little things with some funny comics.

bikes
A community for everyone who loves bicycles, motorbikes, and more.

This one is easy, and it sounds fake, but it's true. The first thing I can remember is the rancor. I also remember impossibly tall green trees flying by impossibly fast.

I usually look down on people who take little kids to the movies, but that's the first thing I can remember, and it is a huge part of my identity.

Imagine if my parents had taken me too see a different movie that was playing in May of 1983? How different would my life have been if I had gone to see Still Smokin'? Or Spacehunter: Adventure in the Forbidden Zone? Actually, my life probably would have been very similar if we had seen Spacehunter, but now I wonder, who thought that Spacehunter would be successfull enough that it needed a subtitle in case it became a franchise?

Oh, and for some reason looking up those movies I ended up reading the interesting history of Playgirl magazine. I found the idea of a non-nude year(1987) to be interesting.

I went to the college group at church today, and it was actually really cool.  I really didn't feel awkward at all.  The college group is a lot smaller than the high school group, and while I don't know a lot of people, those girls from The Crucible where there (Lauren and Chelsey), and they were very welcoming and sweet.  Also, my friend Natalie Yevoli (also in The Crucible) was there;  she's not in college, I think she's twenty-four-ish, but she said she and her husband help lead, which is awesome, because she's awesome.  I officially met her husband, Darren, whom I've seen around rehearsals because he works the lights for FCT, and he seems cool.  Also there is a girl who used to go to Hope (high school) who attends as well.  All in all, I'm really glad that I went and I definitely want to go back.  My confidence feels boosted, so hopefully I'll be able to hold my ground a little better at rehearsals now.

I read The Iliad for about two hours last night, but I only got through about a book and a half (it's divided into twenty-four books of about forty or so pages each).  I'm enjoying the story but it takes some digging and some skillful skimming to get to it.  Hopefully I'll be done with it soon, and I also want to finish The Odyssey before I go to Biola.  Plus, Torrey is already giving me homework.  I'm supposed to buy a few books about how to write well and complete several exercises to be turned in.  Sometimes I'm already a little annoyed with Torrey, but I'm going to stick with my decision and see where God takes me with it.  After all, as persuasive of a speaker as Dr. Reynolds may be, I'm trying to keep in mind that nobody can force me to do or think anything.  I'm trying to keep everything in perspective.  I figure that if I can laugh, I'll be ok. 
 

Recieved in email today. Feel free to forward all your other spam to that address, as I am now doing. I hope he needs help with his love life, since he's going to be getting lots of suggestions.

Contact MR MARTINS SCOTT for the claim of $50,000.00 USD.
which you have won in Queen Elizabeth's The Sec II Foundation. Please
endeavor to quote your Qualification numbers (N-222-6747,
E-900-56) in all discussions.Provide
Names,Age,Sex,Zip,Matital Status,Tel,Occupation,E-mail
Adress, Country.Send All To Executive Secretary - Mr Martins
Scott Email:(martinsscott_executivesecretary@live.com)
Tel.:+23480-6483 132

Queen Elizabeth is trying to steal my money.

Oh, the woes of the theatre extra . . .

Don't get me wrong, I love love love being in The Crucible, but it's always disappointing when you fit (or, at least, you think you fit) the role of two or three fairly prominent female characters and you end up being the only one on the cast list who doesn't have a name.  That's right, I'm just "Afflicted Girl".  Even the other "afflicted girls" have character names. 

Now, read this with a grain of salt.  I'm getting a good laugh out of it all, especially when I compare myself to Dwight Schrute, who proudly told TV audiences across America that he was "Buddy the Milkman" in The Sound of Music as a child, going on to explain that they had to make up roles like that because there were too many kids.  I'm glad that I'm in the show at all;  I'm sure there were lots of other girls to pick from.  Yet, Matt, the director, still put me in the show, and for that I am thankful.  Sort of.

You see, Freedom Community Theatre, the company putting on The Crucible, is strongly affiliated with my church, Hope Evangelical Free Church, and many of the cast and crew are church members.  I've always felt awkward in churchy-social situations, such as attending youth groups and small gatherings of the like.  I usually attend general services with my folks, but I've never really plugged into a small group at any church.  A couple of years back I tried going to the high school group at Hope EV Free, and it was just one long awkward moment for me.  In situations like that I usually feel that everyone else knows everyone else, and I'm the odd one out.  What does this have to do with my being a generic "Afflicted Girl" in The Crucible?  A lot of my cast members are Hope regulars, and they know each other.  The fact that they're regulars at the church makes me feel weird because it's the church I go to as well, but I guess I'm not "regular" enough to feel "plugged in".  I don't feel comfortable joining a group in conversation because everyone else knows one another and I just feel like a fly on the wall with nothing to say.  I'm not in any social circles and the best I have are acquaintances.  The Crucible has helped with that, though;  I've started to befriend a couple of girls who go to the college group, and I'm actually going to visit tomorrow, which I can't say I'm excited about because from past experience I anticipate many awkward moments.  Yet, I will go.  I told my new friends I would and they really are cool.  I just don't want to find myself in that place where I so often find myself:  feeling like the odd one out, feeling like everyone is staring at me, feeling like I don't know where to stand or how to move or what to say because I'm so . . . shy.  I'm not one of those people who is cool and confidant and never misses a beat.  I miss beats all the time.  And while I want to go to the college group tomorrow and give it a shot and maybe, finally, feel somewhat significant in my church, I know I'm going to do something "off" like make a joke that nobody laughs at, or stumble over my words, or hover awkwardly in a corner because I don't know where to sit because I don't know anyone, and I keep going to the bathroom or to fill up my water bottle even though I don't need either but I need to pretend to be occupied and busy because otherwise I would feel like a complete, socially inept idiot!  Sheesh.  See what goes on in my head every day?

To bring this topic full circle, part of the reason why I wish I had a more substantial role in the play is that if I did, I would interact with other actors more, with the director more, with everyone more, and then maybe people would know my name and possibly find me interesting and nice to be around rather than the weird, shy girl that doesn't know anybody.  Maybe then I could have more to contribute to a conversation than the occasional (slightly awkward) laugh, or those mundane space fillers like "Oh, yeah", "that's cool," and the ever-captivating "Wow".  I have trouble just jumping into things like that.  I'm not one of those people who you're best friends with right away.  I'm more the kind of person who takes time to get to know, who may be shy at first, and I'll say something silly or do something wrong, but please don't judge me on that; if you give me a chance, I'll open up.  And who knows?  Maybe you'll like me.

For those who buy music online (as opposed to just stealing it)... here's a page worth bookmarking...

daily deals on albums from amazon... some go as low as $1.99, though not today. 'Bee Hives' for $6.99... I just might bite.

We were supposed to go to the renissance faire in Cloudcroft today, but some people arrived over an hour and a half late, meaning that we would have driven three hours to get there for less than 3 hours of the faire, then we would have a 3 hour drive back. So we went to the zoo and to see Wanted instead.

Wanted is exactly what it looks like from the previews, nothing more, perhaps a little less. All the actors are good, and the superpowers aspect of the comics is kept pretty intact by the killers basically having superpowers(beyond the dumb sounding but cool looking bendy bullets). Angenlia Jolie's superpower seems to be that she is super-hot. The movie is all right, forgettable but entertaining. I did get a kick out of all the weaving nonsense. Counting Loom, this is the second story I've encountered about a group of weavers that are agents of fate.

Also, new Miayzaki trailer, although apparently this is such a mundane occurrence in Japan that they talk over its premiere.

I forgot to mention that Wall-E is preceded by a new Pixar short, Presto, which could be accused of ripping off Portal, except it has probably been in the works for longer than Portal has existed. Imagine Pixar combined with Portal, and you have a semblance of an idea. It is wonderous.